Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
