I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All the doctor said was why
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
