Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Someone stole a lamp last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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