FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
