It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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