Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
