I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
