Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
