dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Soap is not a condiment
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
