I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There are leaves in my underwear?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
