You're my little dorito
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize