So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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