i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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