Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
