Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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