Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
