This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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