honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
