we have pet lesbian snakes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
