stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
