I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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