im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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