the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I only lived at night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
