It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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