i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
