adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
