dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
