If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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