420 ftw
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
