I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
