Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
