If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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