We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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