Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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