i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
MIDGETS
????
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
