Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
