therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
