Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
