I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
