A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The power of my boobs compel you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
