I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
