You're my little dorito
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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