i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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