You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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