Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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