Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
