I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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