is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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