there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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