All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
