What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
