I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
