so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
