i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
