I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize