whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why do cheetos always look like penises
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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