Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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