i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
a search helicopter?!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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