eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize