i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
