i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
