just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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